How does mindfulness improve sexual experiences?

Can I motivate you to maintain a mindfulness practice by sharing how this will enhance your sexual desire and sexual experiences? 

Whether you lack sexual desire, have performance anxiety, experience pelvic pain, or feel bored with sex, mindfulness is an effective framework for developing a more enjoyable and meaningful sexual relationship with yourself and with partners. 

Mindfulness is a practice of present-moment awareness, a heightened observation of your internal experience. Any thoughts of what you “should” be doing rather than enjoying sex are uninvited to your sexual experience. Any worries about what may or may not occur sexually are uninvited to your sexual experience. 

Mindfulness is non-judgmental, so your critical thoughts are uninvited to your sexual experience, as are worries about your partner’s thoughts. 

All of these thoughts are actually turn-offs, so they reduce desire, arousal, pleasure, and connection. When these turn-offs show up, because they will even when uninvited, shift your attention away from these thoughts and focus instead on what you are experiencing in your body and in your emotions. 

The more attention you bring to your body, the more aware you will be of your experience, and the more intense the experience can be. This awareness can also allow you to notice what you are desiring in the moment. Knowing your desires is an important skill to have as a creator or co-creator of your sexual experience. 

Because mindfulness is a skill that requires practice, I encourage you to look for opportunities throughout your day to practice being present, aware, and non-judgmental. Not only will this be rewarding in those moments but will also benefit you when you bring these skills to your sexual engagements.